Guide the words I speak, Lord. Spice them with Your love and concern. Make my speech a joy to others, not a burden.
When originally asked to author a blog post that details how humor shows up in my job on a Jesuit campus, my mind raced with the possibilities. This is my chance to step into the light and to make an indelible mark on the hearts and minds of my colleagues (a bit dramatic, but it works). Not only will I attempt to wax lyrical about humor in the work place, my hope and dream is that you feel it in this post. For the record, Marci Walton allowed this to happen.
As I sat down to complete this post over Memorial Day Weekend, I thought to myself, this is it. Welcome to the big show. We. Could. Go. All. The. Way. Tonight is the night. Be aggressive. B-E aggressive. Ya’ll ready for this!?! Pump up the jam….
Disclaimer.
There are times when the words flowing through my full-ear coverage headphones make their way to the paper. Please forgive me for what happened in that last paragraph. I left it because it helps to set the tone for this post and shines a light into my bad dad joke riddled ethos. Should you need your own hype song before taking on an important task, I’ll suggest that you engage Prince Julien. He loves to move it move it.
Back to the task at hand.
But first, context.
My career in Jesuit education began just two years ago when Amanda, Michael, (best roommates ever) and I moved a thousand miles south from the deep north (Bowling Green, OH) to the deep south (Mobile, AL). Spring Hill College took a chance on me for a student involvement position while the University of South Alabama took a chance on my partner for a housing position. That part isn’t supposed to be humorous, though a dual student affairs couple with young kids seems laughably impossible at times. Our family was growing as well and Noah (the jury is still out on this roommate) joined us in October of 2015. Since 2015, our family has experienced the loss of multiple family members, including both of my parents. Moving south was divinely inspired and allowed me to be present to celebrate the lives of those we lost, to mourn for their loss, and to connect with life lessons through storytelling and laughter.
Storytelling and humor. Herein lies the intersection of my stream-of-consciousness ramble (see above) and what I believe to be a select few a-ha, light bulb, oh snap!, eureka!, golden nugget-style moments. Upon entering Jesuit higher education, I noticed a difference in the way my institution was presented and I began to learn about the life of Ignatius. My entire orientation to this Jesuit Catholic experience has been rooted in storytelling and humor. Case and point, have you ever seen The Olive? Have you ever been to an orientation session at your institution where they showed a #JesuitEducated video created by students or learned about Ignatius of Loyola in any capacity? If the answer is yes, I can guarantee you learned about this tradition via stories, likely laced with humor. If not, give me a call. I’ll connect you with some folks in white collars who will be happy to pull on your ear for a while. That’s southern for spinning a yarn or telling a tale. My charge here is to ask that you celebrate the story, find appropriate places to make others smile/laugh, and to share the “you” with others.
Both humor and storytelling have been extremely important in my work. I believe that you only get one chance to make a good impression and the same amount of chances to notice a good (or bad) haircut. In my work with students, humor and storytelling become the vehicle in which I share my life with them, and in turn, encourage them to do the same with me and others. It breaks the ice and demonstrates investment and care. It helps to create connection and allows me to represent my institution with the warmth, approachability, and openness that students need when attempting to make the unfamiliar seem familiar. Humor and storytelling also allow me to convey cultural norms in bite-sized chunks. This is probably the point where I should tell you that I am blessed to lead our conduct efforts on campus. In this context, humor and storytelling become vital to addressing conflict. A well-placed break in the seriousness of a hearing or a story to let a student know that I too am human can create immeasurable buy-in. Just remember, humor is subjective and that using it takes practice. Reflection with a mentor is necessary when adopting any new approach.
In short, both humor and storytelling fill my cup on a regular basis. They provide me with a sense of purpose and they release endorphins like a beach vacation. I am both attracted to humor and the art of storytelling (like raccoons are attracted to shiny objects) and see it as necessary skill to be built and strengthened in myself and in my staff. In some ways, I believe it is the glue that holds us together and something that we rarely talk about as a tool to be developed in our profession. My call to action: you do you. Find your story and share it with the world. If you can put it into a meme or a bad pun, you’re ahead of the game.
Mike Freyaldenhoven is the Director of Student Involvement and Interim Director of Community Standards in the Center for Student Involvement and Career Development at Spring Hill College. He enjoys living and working in Mobile with his wife, Amanda, two sons, Michael (5) and Noah (19 months), and recently-rescued Heinz 57 mutt, Sanibel. Discover more bad dad jokes and a healthy mix of family and work updates on Facebook by correctly spelling Freyaldenhoven and selecting the cute kid pic option.