I am unapologetically Midwestern, which means I am also unapologetically polite. The Wisconsin stereotypes are fairly accurate: I open for strangers, smile at people in the supermarket, and say “excuse me” when I accidentally bump into inanimate furniture. I was raised to say “please” and “thank you” – for everything. Taxi driver gets slightly lost and drops me off three blocks from my actual destination? “Thanks!” Restaurant server brings me a meal, forgetting my side of fries? “Thanks so much.” Dentist tells me I have a cavity and need a filling? “Thank you for catching that.” It’s just become habit at this point.
That being said, I’ve been striving the past few years to become more intentional about genuine gratitude. It’s easy to throw out a casual thank you here and there, and – unfortunately – it’s also easy to forget to say thank you for the big things. In a field so rooted in “challenge and support,” sometimes we dwell more on the challenge and neglect to include that extra bit of support. This can be especially true with our professional staff and partners, many of whom we may take for granted in the complex processes of keeping campuses running.
Fortunately for us, our Jesuit values of caring holistically for others, being persons with and for others, and transforming communities into better ones than we found them lend themselves to the work of cultivating gratitude. While we often apply these principles to our work with students, the same concepts can go a long way in building strong professional teams and improving morale. As I’ve become more conscious in my efforts to experience gratitude, I’ve found the following to be helpful:
- Make time for gratitude. Are you only giving or receiving gratitude during annual performance reviews? When else might gratitude be important? Consider deliberately scheduling opportunities for gratitude into staff meetings or one-on-one meetings to ensure you’re not just addressing the challenges that arise – but also celebrating and appreciating the efforts being made. Creating an intentional space for others to recognize one another establishes gratitude as a priority in your team.
- Plan ahead. Sincerity goes a long way, and others can often tell when you’re grasping at straws. Rather than throwing out expressions of gratitude just to say you did it, reflect regularly upon that for which you are grateful. The Examen provides a simple, easy-to-follow framework for doing this on a daily basis.
- Learn your team. What’s important to them as individuals? How do they like to be recognized – on a stage, in a department meeting, in a note? Discovering the intricacies of what others value can help you find ways to better express gratitude in a way that allows them to feel noticed, understood, and that they belong.
- Celebrate what makes you stronger. We often feel grateful because someone is giving us something which we do not have ourselves – time, talent, or skill included. True gratitude emerges when we know we benefited from another’s contribution. Rather than facilitating environments rooted in competition or expecting everyone to possess the same abilities, gratitude can come from celebrating the unique qualities and gifts individuals bring to the group.
By cultivating gratitude, we not only show appreciation for others – we enrich our own lives. We learn about our own shortcomings and aspirations for growth. We evaluate our own needs and priorities by noticing that for which we are thankful. Let’s commit to starting this new year with a spirit of gratitude and hold it close to the heart of our work.
Kelsey Stockton is the Assistant Director for University Apartments & Off-campus Student Services at Marquette University in Milwaukee, WI. Her love for Jesuit education began as an undergraduate student at Marquette University, where she has also worked as a Residence Hall Director. Kelsey holds a Master’s degree from Bowling Green State University. In addition to higher education, her interests include exploring local businesses, supporting public radio, and walking her dog, Bernie.