My mom has never been a big believer in coincidences, but rather raised my younger brother Eric and I to believe the unexplainable little things in life were in fact “Godincidences.” Some of you may call these a “God-instance” or even a “God-wink,” but I vividly recall one of my first Godincidences during a Social Studies exam in Mrs. Blanc’s fourth grade class. I studied for days leading up to this test that covered the Lewis and Clark Expedition, the Louisiana Purchase, and the likes…so Midwest, right? I finished all of the questions with confidence, minus one, and then the brain fart ensued. I reread the question over and over, sat in silence, prayed feverishly, and stubbornly would not turn in the test until I put down the correct answer. My classmates were finishing up, one after the other, and like all good middle school classrooms people began talking to their neighbors before everyone was done. Praise Jesus that my classmate Matt was talking when he shouldn’t have been because whatever came out of his mouth sounded like the answer to my last exam question! I wrote it down and turned in my paper quickly so that I could do the next most important thing: ask Matt if he was talking about test answers or something else entirely. His response was simple and profound for me. “No, I wasn’t talking about the test just now and I didn’t know the answer to number nine either. I left it blank.” In that moment, this little fourth grader learned for herself that God shows up and prayer works.
Bonus story | Fourth grade Jessie also asked the following question to Mrs. Blanc after Mass one week: “During the Eucharistic part of the Mass when we say ‘Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed,’ what word should I be listening for from God?” She responded by reminding me she was Episcopalian, not Catholic, and that I should ask Mrs. Harris during next hour. This story is for a later time, but it certainly gives you some insight into the inquisitive Catholic I was then…and continues to be now.
Transitioning to present day, I have more opportunities to reflect, pray, and surround myself with people who are doing God’s work in Jesuit Education than ever before. After being on pilgrimage the past two weeks in Spain and Rome with twenty of my new closest companions, following the footsteps of St. Ignatius, I can certainly say the Spirit is alive within me. The Institute for Advanced Jesuit Studies at Boston College offers a Certificate Program in Jesuit Studies for anyone in Jesuit secondary or higher education that includes two weeks of experiential learning abroad and three weeks of course work at Boston College directly afterwards. I just returned from this incredible journey that was filled with many graces and moments where I felt the overwhelming presence of God. Whether it was climbing to the top of Montserrat while being engrossed in deep conversation with new friends, celebrating daily Mass in some of the most sacred spaces from Ignatius’s life, or seeing the original writings of the Spiritual Exercises and the greatest gift to Ignatian Spirituality, the moments of awe were abound.
Fr. Casey Beaumier, S.J. reminded me during this experience that one of the greatest gifts that the Society of Jesus has given to the world is the ability to bring good people together. Think of the colleagues you have at your institution that became friends, or even your chosen family. Recall the conversations that fed your soul and were a source of renewal at JASPA, AJCU, or NJLSC. Being the extreme extrovert that I am, I acquire energy from connecting with people, building a network that enhances my work with students and staff, and is a place where I see God at work my life. I am also prompted through prayer and the daily Examen to embrace the fact that God is found in silence, darkness, and that there is even grace in our sins.
“It will happen when you’re not searching for it.”
“God meets us where we are.”
“You may not see the ‘ah ha’ moment with someone, but that doesn’t mean they got there without your guidance.”
These phrases likely flow off the tongues of many reading this or they have been said to you before. I believe that these sentiments not only apply to our work with students, parents/guardians, staff, and faculty at our institutions, but they also have deep meaning for our spiritual lives as lay individuals who are carrying on the legacy that St. Ignatius left and the Society continues to keep alive. God is working within us already and wants to reveal herself to us – we have ready our hearts and be open to the fact that we are worthy of that love and grace.
On our last morning in Rome, I climbed to the top of the cupola of St. Peter’s Basilica and was looking down peering at the Papal residence. Like many others lined up on that side, I was hoping Pope Francis was late for his 9:00am meeting (just this once) and we might get to see him a second time. I know, like being in attendance at the Pallium Mass the day prior wasn’t enough. When I gave up on staring at the front door and took a moment to look up beyond the skyline, I saw someone in the clouds and it was breathtaking. I’ll let you decide for yourself whether it’s Christ, St. Ignatius, or simply a vision of someone praying. What I do know is that it was most certainly a Godincidence.
Jessie Graf is entering her seventh year at Boston College and currently serves is the Assistant Director for Residential Ministry in the Office of Residential Life. Prior to this role, she was a Resident Director at BC. Born and raised in St. Louis, Jessie received an undergraduate degree in Communication and a minor in Psychology from Maryville University of St. Louis and a graduate degree in Higher Education Administration from Loyola University Chicago. She enjoys living in Boston with her spouse, Phil, and adopted pup, JoJo. You can follow her on Twitter @jngraf.