I started my higher education journey several years ago in sunny Jacksonville, Florida. As the first person in my family to attend college, this made move in day and the subsequent 6 years spent in education a powerful, emotional, exhilarating, and nerve wracking series of moments as I strove to set an example for my siblings on how to navigate college. Fast forward a couple weeks later when I found my home in Housing and Residence Life and realized that my heart and passion laid with Student Affairs and in spreading my impact beyond my siblings and friends. My mentor suggested a Jesuit institution for graduate school, which I eventually dismissed due to nerves and worrying about fit within a Catholic Institution. These nerves remained but were less daunting as I found myself continually drawn to Jesuit schools and their values and mission during the job search. I took a leap of faith and ended up accepting my first professional position at Xavier University.
Thus began my whirlwind year of firsts; first Jesuit institution, first professional position, first time in the Mid-West, first time leaving and joining a new Professional Region and first year getting acquainted with the mission of the Jesuits. With all of these different factors as I navigated a new position in a new location, I found myself second-guessing my ability to fit and perform at Xavier University. I gradually grew away from that feeling and focused on a goal for my time at Xavier. I decided to take another leap of faith, sit down, and utilize Reflection and Discernment to puzzle out the answer to my question below:
How do I want my students to remember me as and what impact can I make within the Jesuit Values?
It felt a little silly as I initially attempted to wrap my brain around the idea and to just slow down and truly reflect. I realized that I needed to see which values I connected with the easiest and came up with; Cura Personalis, and Service Rooted in Justice and Love. I believed that these values resonated with me so deeply due to my student first approach and commitment to the student development alongside their experience. I find so much joy and fulfillment in watching students succeed through their challenges and finding connections within the community that it is not difficult for me to explore how to invest ever more deeply in my student’s development. I brainstormed specific goals to guide my practice as I plunged head first into the academic year as I looked to ways to measure engagement within the community and ways to support students during all stages of their transition. As time went on, I found myself frequently pausing and utilizing reflection as I worked through conduct meetings, 1-1’s, interactions with students in crisis.
The simple action of contemplation and leaning on a value system interwoven into all aspects of Xavier exposed a way for me to measure my own professional and personal growth. It has helped me push through discomfort of challenges within the position and moments when I have felt at my lowest. It has also given me the tools necessary to encourage students and facilitate difficult conversations over systems of oppression and injustice with students possessing multiple privileged identities. I have felt myself grow and stretch as the year winds to a close. However, now I am ready what the summer and year two have in store for me and the arrival of new humans to guide, connect with and support through their first year of firsts as well.
Laila Chaoui is a first year professional at Xavier University and earned their Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees from the University of North Florida. Her professional interests include residential life, supporting historically marginalized student populations, international students and Gender alongside LGBTQ issues. Their personal interests include ice cream or coffee runs with students, her two cats, programs and documenting everything via social media.