Prior to entering the world of Jesuit education, I sought out colleagues and peers to assist in my understanding and transition to Seattle University. The philosophies and ethos are consistently strong and admirable; there isn’t a day at work that I don’t hear justice, magis, discernment, or – my personal favorite – cura personalis.
Cura personalis – or “care for the whole person” – at first seems like an obvious approach. I learned about providing Sanford’s infamous balance of challenge and support throughout graduate school (1962). I do find colleagues (myself included) struggling with supporting and caring for the whole person, while challenging behaviors. If we continue to provide overwhelming levels of support without challenges, I do not feel confident in ensuring today’s students are prepared for post-graduate life. Arguably, preparing students for the current climate we live within means that we continue to promote the systems we operate within which also need to be challenged in the journey for social justice. However, I often times wonder if I am setting up students for success in challenging these systems without preparing them to learn how to maneuver and understand them.
How do we build resilience within students? For a start, we need to conduct practices that shatters the myth that challenges – or an instance of adversity – will automatically lead to consequences. Psychologist Albert Ellis proposed a model termed the ABCs of resilience (1962): Adversity, Belief, Consequence. Adversity is the situation which occurs; Belief is the explanation or why we believe what happened occurred; Consequence is the emotions or actions that our belief causes.
Essentially, Ellis stated that after an instance of adversity, individuals’ beliefs about the instance will lead to the consequences. For example, if Noor receives a negative comment on her Resident Assistant performance evaluation and believes that they cannot do better, the consequence is that they will not strive to do better or quit due to the feeling of inadequacy. Alternatively, if Noor perceives the evaluation as a catalyst for improvement, the consequence might be outlining action steps to improve performance before the end of the year. Noor might also believe the evaluation to be one person’s opinion and slightly inaccurate, and consequently move on without any impact. The elements of self-awareness partnered with realistic outlooks are crucial to this model’s success. After discerning on this concept, I jotted down a few ways that I could more intentionally build resilience when working with students to assist in my cura personalis and co-curricular learning:
- Add a “D” to the end of ABC – Discernment. We can leverage discernment by requesting reflection that dissect the ABC model. When a student feelings triggered or challenged, ask what happened, objectively. From there, use counseling techniques to narrow down feelings and reactions to the event.
- Set high and realistic expectations for students, so that they can strive for excellence. Partner this with tools for success, so they can also learn to advocate or seek assistance when the need is recognized. When excellence is achieved or when assistance is sought, it should be recognized to promote progress.
- Role model positive qualities like optimism, forgiveness, gratitude, and empathy, so that students can witness these characteristics in their supervisors and advisors. They can, hopefully, learn how to practice them through witness.
- Foster positive connections. Peer support and positive relationships are essential to feeling connected, a sense of belonging, and mattering. By promoting an environment in which students have quality, meaningful relationships, some feelings may become normalized and lessen isolation.
- Allow critical thinking and decision making. Sometimes we do not have options in the work we do; however, advising and supervising often includes allowing students to lead the tandem bicycle. We should encourage self-awareness and self-determination to lessen anxious emotions that come from making decisions.
- Focus on strengths and accomplishments. Mirror what Gallup’s StrengthsFinder (2007) promotes: we can maximize potential growth by investing energy into our strengths and not waste time investing in our deficiencies.
- Share success stories. You can choose to be vulnerable and share your own story, reference a fictional literary character, or review a historic tale. Providing examples of when individuals found control in a situation can also normalize experiences, as well as afford a unique perspective to reflect on what could have happened differently.
- Be willing to talk about failure. We always say that it is okay to fail, but how often do we mean it? When do we share stories, what we learned, and embrace imperfection? We should promote failing forward to continue reflection, growth, and learning.
Armina Khwaja is a Resident Director at Seattle University. She enjoys drinking lattes, online shopping, NPR podcasts, binge-watching Netflix, supervising staff, and social justice conversations. Armina can be reached on Twitter or Instagram (@armina_k).